The Mothers You Don’t See: Grieving, Stepmothering, and Showing Up

May 6th, 2025

May is Mental Health Awareness Month—a time to break the silence, end the stigma, and honor the very real experiences that often go unseen. For me, May holds many emotions. It’s a month of reflection and deep healing. It also holds Mother’s Day, which arrives this weekend—a time to celebrate, grieve, and give thanks for all the ways we mother and are mothered.

This year, I’m holding a lot. My newborn daughter Anastasia is just a month old—my sweet miracle, born ten years after I lost her sister Isabella. I never imagined I would be given the chance to be a mother again. But even with that joy, trauma finds its way in. I check Anastasia’s breathing constantly, terrified of what could go wrong. The fear is real, and so is the anxiety that rides on love’s back.

After loss, every heartbeat is a prayer answered. Thank you, Owlet, for helping me rest when my heart can’t.

One of the tools that’s truly helped me manage this anxiety is the Owlet Dream Sock. It monitors Anastasia’s heart rate and oxygen levels while she sleeps. That peace of mind is something I can’t put a price on. I also use a video monitor, which allows me to watch her when I’m not by her side. For any parent—especially one carrying trauma—I cannot recommend the Owlet enough. It’s more than helpful. It’s healing.

But technology can only reach so far. I’m also in therapy, working through the layered grief of child loss, postpartum changes, and another kind of heartbreak I rarely speak about: the quiet ache of being a stepmother navigating her own place in a blended family.

My stepdaughter Audreyana is tender-hearted and sensitive. She’s trying to process a lot. She has begun vocalizing things that make my heart ache—like wishing her dad could be married to both her mother and me. She doesn’t fully understand why her family looks different than others. And while I know these feelings are valid, and I want to be a safe space for her to express them, I won’t lie—it hurts.

A princess in tow, a king by my side, and a tiny miracle still in the making.

It hurts because I, too, am mourning something: the loss of a seamless family dynamic I hoped we could build. I want to honor Audreyana’s grief over her parents’ separation, even as I hold my own longing to feel secure and accepted as her stepmother. Some days, it feels like I’m balancing grief and tension from all sides—my own, Audrey’s, and the complex dynamic with her mother. And yet, I show up. I stay soft. I choose to love Audrey in all her complexity.

Grief, I’ve learned, wears many faces. There are days I find myself cycling through the 7 stages of grief—shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, and acceptance—all before noon. And I’ve come to accept that healing isn’t about “moving on” from the pain. It’s about learning to carry it with grace and still choosing to love boldly through it all.

This Mother’s Day, I hold space for all mothers: those who have lost, those who have gained, those in blended families, and those healing from trauma. I hold space for myself, as I mother a newborn, a stepdaughter, and the memory of the daughter I once held.

I’m incredibly grateful—for therapy, for faith, for my husband’s unwavering support, and for the sacred, messy beauty of motherhood in all its forms. If you're struggling, please know: you are not alone. Your mental health matters. You matter.

To mother is to carry joy and sorrow in the same hands. And somehow, to still open those hands with love.

If you're struggling with anxiety, grief, postpartum depression, or the weight of blended family dynamics—please know there is help, and there is hope. Here are a few resources that may support you on your journey:

• Postpartum Support International (PSI) Support, online groups, and a 24/7 helpline for new and expecting moms.📞 1-800-944-4773 | 🌐 www.postpartum.net

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline Free, confidential support for anyone in emotional distress—any time.📞 Call or text 988 | 🌐 www.988lifeline.org

• Therapy for Black Girls / Therapy for Latinx Culturally centered mental health resources and therapist directories.🌐 www.therapyforblackgirls.com🌐 www.therapyforlatinx.com

• BetterHelp Online therapy from licensed professionals—flexible and remote.🌐 www.betterhelp.com

• Faithful Counseling Christian-based online therapy for those wanting faith-integrated support.🌐 www.faithfulcounseling.com

Please take care of your mind and spirit—your healing matters, and you're worth it. 💛

With all my heart, 

Maria Guadalupe Reynolds 

Mother to Isabella in Heaven, Baby Anastasia, and Stepmama to Audreyana 

Mental Health Advocate | Healing One Day at a Time